Welcome to the new year! Yay. Okay enough of all that. I knew a lot of people that are making goals for the new year. I'm usually one of those people. But for some reason...I just don't really feel like It. Of course I would love to be better in school, get out of the house more, loose weight. You know, typical teenage things. I figure making plans just creates dissapointment if they don't work out. If you have expectations, they can fall short. That all really sounds a little depressing. So cheers to all those in the world with goals and plans! More power to you :)

Evanny and I spent the weekend together. It was pretty fun. Two sleepovers at her place and then one back at mine. I was at her place for New Years. I thought it was a great way to start the year; being with a good friend, eating cheese fries. Well when she slept over at my house, her and my "brother" Daric starting riding the flirt train. So they like eachother and that's great and all but.... If they do date and break up I can potentially loose a great friend or brother. Or even both. I don't want that to happen but at the same time who am I to say no to young love? I'm just to going to let things fall where they may. 


As for myself well I'm doing okay. A lot of the time (especially at school) I just feel like I'm there. Not really doing anything. More like I'm watching a movie go on all around me. I'm surprisingly happier at home. School was once my escape but now, Its like prison. I'm not really sure why it's changed. Maybe because there is more drama with friends and the work is more difficult than I'm used to. Honestly, I think I'm just distracted. By what? No idea. Maybe it's just a phase. Who can tell really. 



The family is doing well. Were all getting a long most of the time. My brother has a girlfriend. She's a really great girl. I hope he doesn't screw it up. Lindsey is just as sassy as she always is. Mom is doing well. Money is tight and I know she stresses but for the most part, she is happy. 



Night. <3

Long time...

Well here we are a year later... Not that I've been missed I suppose. Naturally a lot has happened. Im a junior in high school. I got old :) James hates me in case you were wondering how that worked out. Im in love with someone :D here's the catch, he lives 2,000 miles away :( Does it suck? More than you can imagine. He's perfect though. Everything about him. His handsome face, and when he smiles I just melt! Will it work out? I don't know for sure. He makes me happy and feel safe and loved. I want him more than anything. He even deals with me when my depression is acting up, he listens to me. He loves me for me. And maybe I am crazy but I honestly don't care. He is pretty much my best friend. We also send eachother letters in the mail. Pretty cute huh? :) I think he is the one. I will keep you updated. Night <3

Goodbye

Hello depression Goodbye happiness.

Not much

Hey. Yet again my phone wants to write in all caps but i have figured out to stop it! Sort of. NOTHING MUCH HAS BEEN GOING IN LATELY. YEA ITS IN CAPS I DON'T KNOW. HAITI EARTHQUAKE IS VERY SAD AND I HOPE THE BEST FOR THE SURVIVERS. I STILL THINK THEY SHOULD FLY OVER AND DUMP THE FOOD OUT. TOO MANY PEOPLE ARE STARVING AND YES THEY WILL FIGHT BUT IT'S BETTER THAN THEM ALL DIEING. MY MOM ACTUALLY BROUGHT UP SOMETHING INTERESTING. 37 COUNTRIES OR SO ARE HELPING OUT RIGHT NOW BUT WHY DIDN'T WE EARLIER? GOOD QUESTION.

YAY IT IS ALMOST CHRISTMAS! IMI'M NOT SURE WHY EVERYTHING IS IN CAPS BUT OH WELL. MY DAD SENT US PRESENTS FOR THE FIRST TIME. PRETTY COOL. I STILL NEED TO SO HOMEWORK AND GET THINGS DONE. ALSO NEED TO PICK UP MY MOMS GIFT IF MY BROTHER EVER COMES HOME SO WE CAN GO THAT IS. BUT HE WONT IN TIME LIKE ALWAYS.

Happy Christmas!

So Its 5 days until Christmas. Woo. The older you get the less exciting it all really is. School is going okay. My math teacher is absolutly phyco. Whatever don't care about spelling issues. Unfortunatly i do have homework over the amazing 2 week break. Mostly writing my theme essay. Personally i don't get themes in books but whatever. Then studying for Ap world history dun dun duh! Bethany and Tara are doing well. Girl drama as usually with them. Nothing major. Charlie (my kitten) is so cute! beyond cute! lol. He still tries to nurse CeCe though. Pretty gross.

This weekend mom and i have been shopping our asses off. For lindsey really. I pretty much know everything im getting for Christmas. Another set back to getting older this time around. Went to Forever 21 and picked out some very cute jewelry. Can't wait to wear them! Also need to go pick up mom's Christmas present. I wish It was already February and i had my license! That way i could drive without her there. Though driving is pretty scary as it is. Well thats it for now.

long time.

What happenend to us? You pushed me out. I didn't know what else but to act impulsively. Now i resent ever meeting you and hate being around you. It hurts. Feels like im trapped behing a clear window watching life not being able to stop it. like someone has taken over. and i fear that it is too late now.