...eh

Not much going on. Hasn't really been a good weekend to be honest. I hung out with Evanny on Thursday. Took her home and then Daric asked her out. She of course said yea. On Friday I slet over at her place. Which was fun. We just hung out and had girl time. She texted Daric the whole time so that was a little annoying. Saturday we went to the mall and came back to chill at my place. There really wasn't much to do so we went in my brothers room. His girlfriend Sami came over too. So it was the two couples and then me. It. Sucked. I hated it. I felt so alone and left out. I was a third wheel 2x. Sami wants to set me up with these two guys but I'm just not interested. I mean don't get me wrong I want a boyfriend. But I think i already found the person that I want to be with. He's just not here and can't be. It's complicated. I don't mean to be a downer about it but it just really hurts for some reason. Makes me wish more and more that I had my guy. When I think about it though, am I being selfish? I thought to myself, do I just want him here so I can fit in with them? But that's not why at all. I want him. Even if everyone else was single. Heck, I'd rather go to where he lives.

Anyways as for today I got my room all cleaned up and put my coffee table back in. It's freshly tagged thanks to my brothers. I love it. It's unique. I wish my brother was nicer though. He literally makes me hate myself and it gets me really upset. To the point where I'm screaming. I don't want to yell and be snippy and my family but I just can't take it here. I desperately want to break away from my life but I can't. The guilt of leaving is too much for me. When I'm 18, I'll be gone and I seriously can't wait!

<3 Ally